Poems

Vultures

The vultures are out

Circling round

Like mobsters

Wings like tommy guns

They’re waiting

To put a bullet

In my back

And when I’m down

The sound

Of flesh tearing

Away from bone

Thrown

In the night air

Crimson hair

Stolen thoughts

Ingested

It’s been suggested

That they thought

I ought

To cease breathing

To desist dreaming

The mist freezing

The night’s seizing

And it’s too late

For fate

Or circumstance

To change hands

I’m done

The sum

Of all my parts

Is their dark art

It’s their trophy

Don’t hold me

I’m done

I’m screaming now

But there’s now sound

Silent shout

And the moon has turned red

 

No

They come

And they go

Everything in between

Is a mystery

To them and to me

They don’t know

My sour soul

I don’t know

They like to hold

Onto

The idea that

I’m some Cassanova

Who’ll wander over

Sweep em up

Carry em off

Sunset movie

But it ain’t me

No

 

Tennis

Lips that could

Wrap around the sun

And put it out

Like wet thumb

And index finger

My gaze lingers

On things you say

On hips that sway

Like reeds

On a river bed

My desire

The breeze

Eyes that cut

Through the bullshit

Down to it

Razor sharp hit

After hit

After hit

Pounding away

At everything

I expect of you

The very definition

Of unreadable

Assured self

Bordering on

Being

Scarily so

Intimidation of my senses

But

I fucking love it

I idly dream

Of what lay beneath

That new skirt

As every flirt

Gets batted back

Tennis ball love

The silence the net

This place the court

It’s game

Then it’s set

But there’s room for some more

Deuce

We’re stuck

Locked horn

As I fawn

The till light

Pointing you out

As if I need reminding

Of your presence

But I am nothing to you

But the joker in the pack

Some Christmas cracker trivia

A newspaper comic strip

A temporary bus stop

But at least you smile

In my general direction

 

Wine

Glass of wine

Cigarette

Slower now

No regrets

No false hope

To forget

Just stark realisations

Star constellations

Unreachable

Intangible

Life like a spaceship

Built to try and get there

Dreams like exhaust fumes

Hyperdrive sleeps

Advancing the years

Hoping that

In the blackness

Somewhere in the void

Fucking floating

Unsure

Unsafe

Unknown

But craving purpose

Somewhere to land

In the end

Some form of communication

Radio love

Empty glass of wine

Cigarette

Where am I now?

I forget

 

Old

The wall stares back

As I sit

A mouth full of regrets

The ticking clock

Like someone’s knock

On my skull

Time enters

And I’m all too aware of it

How it wants to age me

Make me ill

Force me to reflect

Put pressure on

My decisions

Fuck you Time

Judging me

All linear

I’m just an adjective

You’re just a narrative

A perspective

Now I’m closer to death

Than I am to birth

What worth

Can I throw back

In Time’s face?

A shitty house

No kids

No wife

A bunch of early 30’s dreams

That went up in smoke

The embers of youth

I got this seat

And so I sit

To slowly unravel

The clock still ticks

Like a judge’s gavel

And I wait…

Old

 

Mainframe

How to fight back

How to understand

When the links

Are severed

The mechanisation

Of young minds

Index fingers

Where books used to be

Tap, tap, tapping

On glass screens

What am I

If not a screen?

A carer?

A counsellor?

Information

Seen but unlearned

Youtube rockstars

Disappearing catchphrases

If it’s not trending

It doesn’t exist

How to fight back

Offer spoken word

Eye contact

A world behind a screen

Life skills

Like how to hold a conversation

Without a hashtag at the end of it

Like how to take a picture

Where the camera isn’t aimed at yourself

Or

The machines will win

And I will stand

Unseen & unheard

As a thousand young souls

Are lost in the mainframe

 

Box

If I was the star

Low budget

Low morals

Black & white fever

Lump in throat

A naked ghost

Explain

Or drain

The soul through my eyes

So I can see

Myself clearly

On screen

Close up

Cut away

You’re not there

Where you’re supposed to be

In the box

I put you in

 

 

 

 

What If

What if we met

Beneath the statue of Neptune

All butterflies

And lack of 3G

Is that her?

That could be him…

First impressions

Second guessings

What if we drank

Talked movies

No more bars

Save the Irish bar

Good old Irish bar

Tequila

Rum

Crazy Mexicans

What if we lay

Staring at Ill Duomo

Then at the stars

Then at each other

Lucky wine

Warm wine

Wind down

Have I never

I lost

Then we both won

Passion beneath

Firenze skies

A teacher

A unicorn

We were actors

In our own scene

Directed by fate

Filmed by only our memories

What if

This

Actually happened

 

 

 

Heavy

Heavy Head

Like lead

Weights

Pulling on my beard

It’s weird

Usually

I’d run from the feeling

Here

I embrace it

Like an old friend

The annoying one

From school

Who knew me

Better than I knew myself

Heavy air

Supliments

Dragging

Pulling on my good mood

Arresting my smile

Short breath

Between teeth

Heavy salad

My hands shake

Might have to

Call it

A night

At

Ten to one

But no

Go see Dave

Hang

Stumble

Breakout

A smile

Lift

Push

Fight

Deep sighs

And on

 

 

 

Yours

Every street

A whirlwind

Every sunset

An emotion

Every building

An etching

Every feeling

A tide

Every footstep

Adventure

Every hot sleep

A pleasure

Every meal

Salvation

Every feel

Elation

Every time

My hat’s on

Every inch

A question

Every thought

A landscape

Every walk

An escape

Every word

Is pointless

Every try

Is fruitless

Every time

That I strive

Every rhyme

That I’ll try

Every tear

Will spring forth

For ever more

I am yours

 

 

 

Riot

Trusting yourself

To man

And machine

Fearing the weight

Distrust in gravity

At least

They’ll know

The last song I heard

The last words I wrote

The last message I sent

Riot in my head

Policed by

Confinement

Premium space

A split pain

Bothers

And yet

Eight more days

Seven more nights

Demons are coming

Disturbing, don’t

Let them carry

Leave them

Thirty thousand feet

Up

Shut

Them down

Like a powerstation

Decommission them

For they hold no weight

But to show you

What love can be

Riot in my soul

Policed by

Refinement

Premium grace

 

 

 

Contrast

The contrast

Astounds

All hussle

Dirt

Knawing, sawing sounds

Leaky air conditioner

Loud locals

All beauty

In one place

Like a cornerstone

Like a mecca

All drawn

To it

Like zombies

Passing between

Concrete blocks

Gutter streets

Graffiti greets

The warmth

Is there

But the heart

Is not

And my feet

Can’t leave

My castle on the hill

Like an old king

Gone mad

Residing

In the four walls

Of his fear

The contrast

Remarkable

All bussle

Filth

Angry engine sounds

Juxtaposed with Jazz

 

 

 

View

View

Of an ancient time

A city

In ruins

In turmoil

And yet

When you rise above

The mire

You see

It’s true beauty

Fireworks

In the distance

Thousands

Striving

For existence

The rich up high

The poor below

As it always was

Gods and men

Borrow

Lend

But when

All is said & done

Numbers mean jack

In the face

Of ancient beauty

Fierce humility

A panorama of truth

Moon shines

Sun dies

This place

Alive

My cocktail

Arrives

So I stop over thinking

And start over drinking

 

 

 

Time

Say

Every cliché

To make the space

Disappear

Empty

Front face

Turn about

To see you there

Only compensation

Same boat

Two crossed wires

The fall out

So high

There is no ground in sight

There is no altitude

No definition

Only time

Passing

But the day

Won’t wait for us

At our worst

Lowest ebb

And yet

Smiles detract

From the obvious

Laughter traps

Impervious

The candle

Flickers

The only remnant

Of the night

So high

We’re drowning in the light

There is no Earth

No destination

Time

 

 

 

Air

I feel like

The air

Has been sucked out

Of me

My body

A vacuum

Who knew

That you

Were oxygen

All I hear

Is the fan

Spinning in irony

Laughing at my state

Light shining through

The blinds

Shadows

Making me a prisoner

Of my own mood

Making me pathetic

Drowning in pity

Like air

Is the only thing

That can make

Me smile

There’s more to life

Than that

But I can’t see that now

Just sit

Deflating

Staring at the space

Where the picture hung

In it’s place

A vision

Of a vicious smile

That is

My last breath

 

 

 

Station

Some look lost

Some walk with purpose

Some look like they’re on a catwalk

Some cry

Some struggle with weight

Physical & not

Some seem important

Some look like they’re going nowhere

Some rush

Darting like rats

Sweating like pigs

Some drown in their own self-importance

Some smile to themselves

Some don’t look up

Some hold hope

That by coming here

They’ll get somewhere

The station

 

 

 

Sleep

If I can’t sleep

Should I wake you?

From your dreams about me

Holding you

In the bed I can’t sleep in

Or should I just sit

On the sofa

That we sat on

Just hours ago

Before you won the race

For unconscious thought

Tomb-like state

Body shut down

You don’t hear the sounds

That I focus on

Like the fox outside

Mischievous & sly

Or your breath mistimed

Or my own deep sighs

If I can’t sleep

I won’t wake you

I won’t hate you

I’ll just lie

 

 

 

Hand

It’s like a coffee stain

Of sadness

On a table

Or

The moon

 

 

 

Gin

In suspended reality

Ultimate satisfaction

Content discomfort

A darkness drifting

Leaving the void

Breathing the voice

From within

No sin

Just gin

And laughter

Drowning in smiles

So many miles

From home

Or what home is for now

A microcosm

In the soundscape of my dreams

So much more to do

So so much

 

 

 

Ride

Whatever space

You are in right now

I wish I could tell you

That I’m sorry

I’m sorry I let my picture of you

Deteriorate

If I’d spoken up

I could have looked after it

Stopped it fraying at the edges

Kept it hanging on the wall

But

I’m not sure if I ever wanted to fix it

The silence showed this

I never understood

How you said one thing

But did another

The manifestation

Of this process

Resulting

In my frustration & disdain

And ultimately pain

For us

One based on guilt

One in shock

I hid in that room

Hating myself

Hating your lack of effort

Hating that I’d have to

Start again

I thought I’d ride this love

Til my last breath

But monotony

Killed it

Will it always?

I think about this now

Every single day

Just as I think of you

Every single second

Wondering if you’re OK

If you’re scared

If you’ve kept your humour

Or closed back up

As when we first met

I still cry

Because we lost each other

Somewhere on the ride

But I need you to know

That I’m sorry

For all the bad things I made you feel

And for not

Being brave enough to save us